Lessons I Learned from Watching Divorce Court

Teisha LeShea
5 min readAug 21, 2023

With Judge Lynn Toller

silhouette of couple
Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

“I don’t want to be married just to be married. I can’t think of anything lonelier than spending the rest of my life with someone I can’t talk to, or worse, someone I can’t be silent with.”- Mary Ann Shaffer.

I’ve discovered the TikTok Divorce Court rabbit hole. Users have created pages dedicated to reposting episodes of Divorce Court with Judge Lynn Toller. I’ve been watching Divorce Court since it premiered in 1999 with Judge Mablean. Since being a young teen, I have never watched it for entertainment purposes. I’ve always wanted to watch to avoid what NOT to do when it comes time for me to get married.

The older I became, the more I stopped watching the program. The times didn’t align with my work schedule, so I always missed the show but thank God for TikTok, and being in my mid-thirties, I’m still watching and learning from the program. I wanted to share some of the things I’ve noticed with some of these couples. These are my observations; please take my advice with a grain of salt.

Is this a listicle article? Yes. Do I care if you like it or not? No

Meeting Place

Sometimes I wonder where couples meet. After hearing their story, compatibility becomes apparent. Many people meet out of convenience. Often, two people bond over shared trauma. Just because we both stubbed our toes doesn’t mean happily ever after.

Where you meet someone can shape their role in your life. Seeing someone at a club every Friday at 9 pm doesn’t necessarily mean fate, but rather a shared interest in partying and spending money.

People typically meet through their siblings, Facebook, or mutual acquaintances.

If you Shenan once, you WILL Shenan-Again

I avoid using cliche quotes such as “Once someone shows you who they are, believe them.” It’s essential to recognize a pattern of behavior, especially if someone has cheated on you in the past. Why marry someone who hasn’t shown any change?

A ceremony, fancy dress, and a piece of paper won’t fix something already broken. I’ve seen many clips of women giving birth while…